just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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