i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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