I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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