yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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