Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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