I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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