I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I skipped work to stalk him.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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