if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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