i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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