the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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