a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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