It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize