New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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