I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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