I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize