you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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