Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize