Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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