I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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