i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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