is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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