Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I want to fling myself into the sun
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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