it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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