There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize