Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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