Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize