This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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