What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My hand turned me down
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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