i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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