Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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