Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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