I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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