On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize