a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize