Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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