No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize