On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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