i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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