My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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