I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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