Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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