Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2173) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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  (510): So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school http://tfl.nu/z2dy
  Replies (79) Good night (511) Bad night (3646) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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  (916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off? http://tfl.nu/zq3l
  Replies (112) Good night (24096) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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  (734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j
  Replies (32) Good night (636) Bad night (6919) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets

  (818): View more from California

  julia child would be proud.

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  (310): i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets (818): julia child would be proud. http://tfl.nu/gv9u
  Replies (15) Good night (4735) Bad night (845)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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  (716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi
  Replies (14) Good night (2231) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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  (760): i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/v98w
  Replies (3) Good night (2080) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

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  (720): I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team. http://tfl.nu/53x1
  Replies (11) Good night (3012) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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  (214): If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/n8v9
  Replies (6) Good night (2162) Bad night (772)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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  (612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (670)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night

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  (303): New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/j3fg
  Replies (11) Good night (2088) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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  (916): WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!! http://tfl.nu/wbdy
  Replies (10) Good night (835) Bad night (2482) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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  (610): I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents. http://tfl.nu/hwmn
  Replies (7) Good night (1616) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (584) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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