You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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