this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How does one acquire holy water?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize