he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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