When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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