Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you didnt know i had herpes?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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