I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
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