My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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