is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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