i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
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They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
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Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize